


Ghosts of a Future Lost

by kylo-renne (star_wars_drabbles)



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Ben Solo before Kylo Ren, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Loss of Virginity, Romance, major angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 05:45:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14562174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/star_wars_drabbles/pseuds/kylo-renne
Summary: This is a story of Ben Solo’s past, how he lost something he once held sacred, and the first and only time he fell in love. Or: How Ben Solo lost his virginity





	1. Falling

Surprisingly, though he hid it well, Ben Solo was still a virgin. You wouldn’t think it with how he acted around girls, overly confident and a huge flirt, it was a secret that he kept close to his heart. It’s not like he wanted to be a virgin, but he couldn’t find anyone that he trusted enough to do it with. **  
**

It didn’t help that he was the most famous son in the galaxy, with his relatives being the legends that took down the empire, Ben Solo had a certain history attached with his name. This may have given him the confidence, but with his fame and power he often found that most looked up to him.

Things were a little different at Uncle Luke’s Jedi Temple, where people looked up to him for his skill in the force rather than his heritage. He couldn’t deny that he loved the feeling of pure raw power coursing through his veins, the rush of a fight was one of his favorite things no matter how many times Uncle Luke scolded him on it.

But even that changed when they found out his true heritage, the golden child of resistance heros was the grandson of, Darth Vader? It made people look at him differently, in disgust and betrayal, accusing him of some sort of grand conspiracy that he had no part of.

In a way, it made sense, and in his thoughts Ben realized that he had a lot of similarities with his grandfather. He knew it was wrong, but a part of him craved that type of power, even if it meant darkness. The one who felt the most betrayed was Ben, that his parents didn’t trust him with his knowledge. Was it because they feared he would turn out like his grandfather? It made him angry sometimes, how his parents feared him. Because in reality, he was just as afraid, if not more.

There was a dark voice that seemed to leave whispers in his mind, one that had shown him horrible things and that he was very afraid of. But he knew if he told anyone, even Uncle Luke - it meant he would be looked at fearfully, in the same way that his father looked at him when he hurt a kid who bullied him with a force. No amount of apologies could erase what he had done that dark day.

There was only one person he could think of who had never looked at him that way, you were a normal girl with no force sensitivity and a great green thumb. You lived on one of the few farms on the very uninhabited planet where the Jedi Temple resided, and technically you weren’t supposed to trespass onto the Jedi Temple, but you weren’t exactly a rule follower.

Ben had just turned 15 when he first met you, and had been granted the duty of monitoring the perimeter of the temple. He may have taken his job a little too seriously at the time…and sensing you he used the force to stop you in your tracks.

“Who are you?” He demanded.

“Y/N, and I should be the one asking you that!” You quipped.

Ben narrowed his eyes at you and scoffed, “I’m Ben Solo, don’t you recognize me, you know son of the Solo’s, the smuggler and the princess? Does none of this ring a bell?” Ben waved his hands dramatically as he spoke.

You just shrugged at him, “Yeah of course I know the Solos, but I never knew they had a kid.”

“Well they did, anyways what exactly are you doing here? You know you’re trespassing right?” Ben pointed at you.

“I call it exploring, and I’m not doing anything bad I’m just checking the place out.” You looked around.

“You don’t look like your force sensitive-”

“Hey I can be force sensitive!” You defended.

“That’s not how it works,” Ben shakes his head.

“Don’t patronize me, you’re just a kid,” You roll your eyes, and boy did he have an ego. Ben’s face got red at that.

“I’m not a kid I’m fifteen!” Ben glared at you, cheeks and ears turning red.

“Aww you’re getting all red! That’s cute kid, and I’ve got two years on you so in comparison you are pretty young, it explains a lot honestly,” You chuckle.

“I’m not cute,” Ben grumbles, and he’s still blushing bright red.

“Whatever you say cutie, say wanna give me a tour of this place? I can give you some aurilian fruit I just harvested.” You offer.

“No-wait, did you say aurilian fruit? Isn’t that almost impossible to grow…” Ben’s eyes widened.

“Not for me it isn’t,” You smirk at him.

“Okay, I’ll show you around.” He sighed, trying to play off his excitement as reluctant. Maybe he’d finally make friends with a nice, normal girl. 

And that was the start of Ben’s friendship with the local farmgirl, and the day he found out that aurilian fruit was his favorite.

When Ben visited you, he could be himself, not what everyone expected him to be. And it was so freeing. Uncle Luke knew about his little visits, how Ben would sneak away from his little hut during the night, and he let him go because afterwards he always seemed to come back more at peace.

He always had a bit of a crush on you, he couldn’t help it. How could he not when you were so beautiful and clever? He loved to listen you ramble about whatever plants you were growing, you had an incredible knowledge of botany and with your skills you were able to grow rare things and fetch quite the price for it. Of course, you used a lot of the money to invest in your little farm you had going. You didn’t live an overly luxurious life, or overly complicated, and Ben admired that.

Although you tended to tease him a lot, Ben followed you around like a lost puppy. You were always there for him, when he’d have a tough day of training he’d sneak off to see you and try whatever treat you made for the day, even if it wasn’t a particularly miserable day sometimes he’d just want to see you. And his little visits persisted for a few years.

You started to notice that Ben had changed a lot over the five years you had known him, and though before how much he stared at you made you smirk, now there was a certain heat behind his gaze that wasn’t there before.

Ben couldn’t believe that he hadn’t noticed until know, how gorgeous of a body you had, or how soft your lips looked. It was only when he was nineteen that he had his first kiss, and that kiss alone on a night of spin the bottle seemed to awaken something within him. All of the sudden he was experiencing all new feelings in passions, ones that he blamed Luke’s training for blocking. And once he experienced the pleasure of masturbation, it was like a spiritual awakening for him.

He started seeing the world differently, started seeing you differently. He began to pick up on the way that your pants hugged your ass, how perfect it looked when you bent to pull something out of the oven. And your breasts, stars he couldn’t believe he never noticed those beauties hidden under the soft material of your shirts. Or that sometimes you wouldn’t wear a bra? And he could see your nipples perk up with a breeze, he couldn’t lie that he hadn’t used the force to create a cool breeze to see it in action, shuddering when he saw two buds press against the thin fabric of your top.

When the news came out, things only got worse for Ben at the Jedi temple, and it pushed him closer to you. He could cry and you’d comfort him, let him cry in your lap as you stroked his hair. Sometimes it felt like you were his only comfort, the only one he could go to safely and talk about his fears.

That year, was tough for the both of you. Ben’s training only seemed to get harder, as well as his cock when he was around you. He hated how many times he had to excuse himself to the refresher around you, or how many times he lied about having stomach pains when in reality he was rubbing one out over your sink. He’d come out with a flush on his cheeks and you’d get all concerned, asking him if he was okay and always making some sort of tea to try and make him feel better.

And then Ben started to notice that you were looking at him too, which made him thankful for the long hours of training that he put himself through each day. He was growing his hair out too, and now it reached just past his ears. Of course, he couldn’t help but admire the woman that you had turned into right before his very eyes, and it lit a fire within him.

“Ben stop it! You’re using the force I know it!” You laughed as Ben tickled you. His hands were all over you, making you release peels of laughter. He was laughing with you, until you started tickling him right back.

“H-hey stop, haha it’s not funny stop!” He grinned. You did stop, once you noticed how his shirt lifted up to show a muscled abdomen.

“Oh, you like what you see?” Ben flirted, making you blush for once. He was getting much bolder as of late, and decided to make it worse for you by taking of his shirt.

“Oh my god! Put your shirt back on Ben,” You covered your eyes.

“I dare you to look,” Ben smirked, knowing you would. You frowned at him, uncovering your eyes, then gasping as he flexed before you. He was…he was perfect, no longer the kid that you met years ago. It made you feel a certain type of way, that you never thought you would feel for a friend.

You looked away shyly, it was too much for you to bare. Ben grabbed your chin and tilted it towards him, his large fingers gentle with their hold. “It’s okay Y/N, really.” He looked at you.

You stared back at those warm honeyed eyes of his, until his lid fluttered closed and he was leaning closer. You closed your own eyes and let him take the lead, this kiss was a long time coming and both of you knew it. His fingers slid up to your cheek, placing another moistened kiss on your lips. Ben sighed in content, your lips just as soft as he’d imagined. But he had to pull away, he didn’t want to display his lack of experience yet with you. When he pulled back he wiped his thumb across your lips, resting his forehead against yours. “Thank you,” He breathed.

“I think I love you Y/N,” Ben admitted. He was feeling this for a while now, and he had to say it. With everything that he had learned, and with the dark thoughts in his head he knew that you could be taken away from him at any time. But before that happened, he had to let you know how he felt, let you know that you were loved and weren’t alone in this big galaxy.

Your eyes widened, and you knew that was the day that your friendship became more. You leaned forward and gave Ben a chaste kiss on his cheek, his confession being so cute and sweet it filled your heart with warm feelings.

It wasn’t until you shared more kisses, that Ben had to confess, “I-I’m still a virgin Y/N.”

“No wonder you always pull away,” You hummed. Ben breathed in sharply, looking away from you. “Hey it’s okay, I’ve never had sex with anyone before either, I mean what do you expect I like plants more than people,” You assure him.

“Except me,” Ben pointed out, now excited that you were in the same boat as him. It was a relief to hear.

“Yes Ben, except you,” You smiled at him.

“I want to with you, do it I mean, stars I want to so bad…” Ben looked at you with longing, placing his hands on both sides of your shoulders.

“Oh, we can I just…I don’t know how good it’ll be with me,” You blushed, you felt strange talking like this, normally your conversations with Ben were so innocent and now here you were talking about sex.

“I bet it’d be amazing,” Ben blurted out, a distant look in his eyes as he began to fantasize about it. He licked his lips, all sorts of dirty thoughts entering his mind. His eyes darkened and he chuckled, leaning over you on the couch.

“Hey don’t look at me like that…” You frowned.

“Like what?” Ben cocked his head.

“Like you’re about to eat me alive.”

“I just might princess,” Ben smirked, some of his fathers cockiness showing. “But not yet, I want to wait, it should be special.” He pulled away.

“Hmm I wouldn’t expect you to have such a romantic notion,” You grinned.

“Shut up-this is important to me,” Ben frowned.

“Okay loverboy, but don’t make me wait too long.” Ben only smiled at you, shaking his head. He was going to make it perfect, a night neither of you would ever forget.

 


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t long after that day that you noticed Ben started to get...more affectionate. He’d often pull you close to him for a kiss, even using the force to manipulate you. Sometimes he’d sneak into your place when you were asleep, waking you up by peppering kisses all over your face. Still, it hadn’t happened yet and the tensions between you skyrocketed.

Ben could feel it through the force, it was like a different sort of energy all together. And where normally you felt warm, this feeling was scorching hot - in the best of ways. He knew you were getting annoyed by how much time he was taking to make it perfect, and it showed when you kissed him.

“Ben please!” You whined. He had just pulled away from kissing you, again and you were getting frustrated. You could feel that he was hard under you too, and with the flush of his cheeks he was definitely turned on. You, being a little bit older than him, just wanted to get this over with.

“Shh just be patient princess,” Ben chuckled. You scoffed at him, he had been calling you that a lot more as of late.

“Oh come on, I can feel you have a boner it’s pretty obvious, I bet your as horny as I am,” You accused.

“I-I am not! I have some self control,” Ben sputtered, and it was clearly a lie.

“No you don’t! You’re worse than me, don’t think I didn’t hear you moaning when you went to “freshen up” the other day,” You lightly hit his chest, frowning at him.

Ben blushed, “Uh, you did not hear me moan,” He waved his hand over your face, trying to use the Jedi mind trick.

“Ben! Don’t you dare try and use the force on me!” You scolded him. Seeing how mad you were, he snickered, you were so cute like this. He leaned into kiss you, but you blocked his lips with your hand. He tsked at you and peeled your hand from his mouth, not before kissing it of course. Pinning both of your hands back with his, his lips met yours again. Ben sighed, he wanted to have you now, but his plans weren’t ready yet.

“Just where are you taking me Ben?” You asked him. It was a few months after you had both committed to losing your virginity together, and you wondered if this was finally it. Ben did surprise you a lot, always misleading you and teasing you along the way. You hoped that this would be it, you were dressed all nice and everything, and you didn’t know if you could wait any longer.

“You’ll see…” Ben smirked at you. Then his eyes trailed down to the dress you were wearing, quickly looking ahead of him so he wouldn’t get caught up on your breasts. _Later, and then you can touch them too_ , he told himself.

He lead you past the Jedi temple, and past where your farm resided, but not too far from it. Under an alcove of trees, there appeared to be a little hut, and outside of it a blanket with various dishes lying on top of it.

“This...this is too much,” You shook your head. “Did you do all of this?” Ben nodded, grinning when he saw how impressed you seemed.

You started to notice the details, and peering inside the hut you could see that there was a soft bed inside, soft strings of lights illuminating it warmly. Your breath hitched, tears pricking in your eyes as you felt Ben wrap his arms from behind you and rest his head on your shoulder. “No one has ever done something like this for me, I’ve never felt so loved…” Your voice welled with emotion as you spoke.

“Princess, nothing is too much for you. Tonight’s all about making you feel loved, just wait.” Ben kissed your neck.

“Hey well don’t forget you’re a virgin too,” You pointed out.

“Not for much longer,” Ben purred, his voice lowering. It made you shiver. “But first, I made food, and it’s not all burnt like last time,” He chuckled.

“Okay, lets eat!”

It seemed like Ben couldn’t wait for dessert, because before you could take a bite he was pouncing on you, pressing you down against the blanket he had carefully laid out. He was kissing all up and down your neck, leaving more than a few hickeys with his bruising lips. And when his lips met your own you couldn’t help but moan, Ben wasting no time to use his tongue.

His hands were shaking at your sides, that is until you placed one of them on your breasts, making him groan. “Ahh kriff.” Ben’s eyes fluttered open, seeing where his hand rested.

He had always wanted to touch your breasts, and today you weren’t wearing a bra. Through the thin material of your dress he could feel your nipples perk up and Ben’s eyes widened, letting out a shaky breath.

“Y-you can move your hand, just don’t squeeze them too hard,” You told him, reassuring Ben’s trembling hand by placing yours on top of it for a brief moment. Testing your reaction, Ben gave the breast under his hand a light squeeze and when you gave him a nod to continue Ben had a huge grin on his face.

He didn’t just want to feel your breasts, he wanted to see them. In his eagerness he pulled the top of your dress down from your shoulders, freeing your breasts. Ben looked up at you to see that you were looking away shyly, biting your lip. He placed a hand on each breasts and cupped them, running his hand lightly over your nipples. You whimpered, his barely there gentle touch somehow making you feel on fire.

You looked up to see Ben staring at your breasts with his mouth open, eyes full of so much adoration in them. He leaned down to nuzzle the soft skin of your chest, then moaning as he kissed them, every inch meeting the warm slight pressure of his lips. It was almost as if Ben was enjoying himself more than you were, in fact it was really how much he was enjoying himself that turned you on. You stroked his hair as he kissed you, beginning to use his tongue and leaving a wet trail.

“Stars Y/N, these are-their so perfect...it’s like they mold to my hands. I love them so much, thank you, thank you for letting me touch you,” Ben hummed, going back to his ministrations. He finally did what he had dreamed of, focusing his mouth on one of your nipples and taking it in between his teeth lightly, making you squeal as he soothed the sting with the swirl of his hot tongue. The rough pads of his other hand rubbed your left nipple between his fingers, keeping it hard and perky like its twin.

Ben sure took his sweet time lavishing your breasts, not leaving any inch uncovered with the touch of his hands or his lips. He just wanted to show you how much he appreciated them, how beautiful these perfect little round globes were to him. But he wasn’t just like this for your breasts, completely new to the female body Ben took his time in getting to know each part. Sometimes he’d squeeze a little too hard, or accidentally rub your skin the wrong way, however overall his touch was gentle, focused.

“Ben...you should take off your shirt,” You said breathlessly, tugging at it’s hem.

“Sure sweetheart,” Ben winked at you, before lifting his tunic over his head. He tossed it aside carelessly, his smirk widening as you stared at him. He loved your attention on him more than anything else, though you always seemed reluctant to touch him, it reminded him that you were a virgin too.

“Here,” He took your hands in his and placed them over his chest, guiding their movements by sliding them down. But then he let you do what you wanted, mapping out his broad chest as you felt where the light dustings of hair were, how surprisingly soft his stomach was even if it looked like it was carved out of stone. And then your hand reached lower, sliding under his pants when Ben stopped you. “No not there-I won’t be able to take my time with you,” He shook his head.

“Maybe if you didn’t spend all your time on my breasts,” You teased him.

“Hey, I like them okay! They’re really nice…” He defended his little obsession.

“Oh you just like them huh? That’s all, just really nice?” You mocked him.

“Kriff Y/N I love them okay? I love your breasts and they’re so perfect, I just want to bury my face in them and hold them in my hands and kiss them and love them and…”

“Okay okay! I get it,” You laughed, adding, “But I wouldn’t mind being touched elsewhere.”

“Then take off your dress,” Ben commanded. Surprising himself with his tone. You complied, blushing as he stared you down with a dark look in his eyes. “And your panties,” He growled. “Hand them to me,” He put out his hand as he watched you shimmy out of your underwear.

“What?” You gave them to him, but you didn’t understand why he wanted them, until he stuffed them into his back pocket. “I don’t understand what exactly you’re going to do with those.”

“There’s a lot you can do with a little piece of lace that smells like pussy,” Ben murmured, not really intended to voice his vulgar thoughts.

And then his hands went for your ass, and he found another part of you just perfect for grabbing. “Turn over,” He grunted. You eyed him suspiciously but complied, turning onto your stomach. Ben’s hands where back on your butt, cupping and kneading your cheeks, then smacking one of them.

You let out a squeak, looking back at Ben, “Hey!”

“I know you loved that princess don’t look at me like that,” Ben challenged, repeating his action on the other side. You proved him right as you moaned, rubbing your legs together for friction when your pussy started to get swollen with need. “Now what do we have here,” He parted your legs.

If you saw Ben you’d see that he had a look on his face as if he had just found a precious metal, and it was precious, it was your perfect drooling cunt. _Perfect to stick my cock in_ , he thought. _Look at her, she’s already soaking, you should just fuck her now she’s ready_ , the impatient part of him surmised. You heard Ben curse something in what sounded like Correllian, but didn’t understand. “Stars I love you,” He said after in basic, making your heart flutter.

His hand slid up your inner thigh, massaging on the way until he rubbed two fingers down the length of your cunt, spreading your wetness to your clit. Ben may have been a virgin, but that didn’t stop him from learning a little human anatomy. He wanted this to feel good after all, and from what he understood you’d need touch there to really orgasm and to get wet. So when he spread your legs and saw you were soaking, his face lit up. He somehow was turning you on, and that made him feel very excited.

As he rubbed up and down your cunt a few times, cherishing each little whimper you let out, he curled one calloused finger inside you. “So kriffing tight,” Ben groaned, your cunt already squeezing around his thick finger. You lifted your hips into his hands, starting to move them in a way that you were fucking yourself on Ben’s finger, without even realizing it. “S-stop that,” Ben’s eyes widened. He wouldn’t last five minutes if you moved liked that.

“Sorry I didn’t even realize…” You apologized, stilling your hips.

“Relax princess, I gotta work you open a little. I don’t want to hurt you,” Ben mumbled that last thought. He wouldn’t admit but he was a little concerned, looking down at his cock and feeling the inside of your cunt he knew it would be tight. He added another finger for good measure.

“Okay-ahhh!” You moaned when Ben found a certain spot in your walls, making your cunt close and constrict around his fingers.

Was that it? Did he just find the G-spot on his first try? Ben was smirking, proud of himself. He didn’t even notice that you were getting close, too focused as he rubbed your clit with his other hand.

“Ahh oh maker Ben! I love...ughnnn,” You moaned and writhed as your first orgasm washed over you.

“Oh shit! I didn’t mean to do that,” Ben pulled his hands way, realizing that you just came. It was pretty hot if he was honest.

“What do you mean? You made me cum on accident!” You turned around, looking at Ben in confusion.

“I mean-not yet, I was thinking later...at the same time,” Ben’s face flushed red. Did he just fuck everything up?

“Oh Ben, that’s not, that’s really hard to do. But I bet I can cum again, women can have multiple.” You explained.

“Really? That’s not fair…” Ben complained.

“Come on, let’s do this. I bet you’re going crazy under there,” You glanced at the bulge in his pants, straining against the fabric. You could even see a wet patch near the tip, precum no doubt. Ben started to look a little embarrassed, what if you didn’t like it? What if it was too small, or too big? Panic raced in his mind.

“Please, let me see,” You sat up, hand reaching for his pants.

Ben started panting as he stood up to take off his pants, hands fumbling with his waistband as he slid them down over his hips. You admired his ass from behind, standing up to give it a light squeeze as you stood on your tippy toes to try and look over his shoulder. Ben jumped when you grabbed his ass, spinning around and glaring at you (though he’d realize later he loved when you did that). You only shrugged at him, until your eyes zeroed in on his cock.

His pants were still at his ankles as he looked off to the distance, “Is it okay?” He asked. He didn’t know, no one had ever seen him fully naked before, especially not a woman as beautiful as yourself.

“You’re perfect Ben, don’t you worry,” You sauntered up to him, one hand cupping his cheek as the other wrapped around his cock.

“Kriff!” Ben hissed, pulling your hand off his cock like it burned him. He could feel another gush of precum just from your brief touch, his balls starting to feel painfully tight with arousal. He looked back at you, as you shook your head with your hand on your hip. His own doubts were forgotten when he looked at you completely bare before him, completely gorgeous and perfect in his eyes. He knew for sure, he wouldn’t want his first time with anyone else.

Ben took your hand and guided you over to the little bed he set up for the two of you, closing the curtain of the little hut behind you. The two of you laid down besides each other, Ben turning so that he hovered over you. He kissed you again for good measure, this one full of love and reassurance. You rested one hand behind his neck and the other intertwined in his hair, bracing yourself for his entrance. Luckily, you were on birth control and he didn’t have to use protection, meaning you could feel every inch of him.

Ben fumbled a little bit as he lined himself up, his hands shaking as the tip of his cock met your wetness. He looked down as he began pushing himself in your cunt, slowly, the only way he could take it, as he felt the sweet warmth of you surround him. Even with how ready you were, Ben’s size would mean it’d still be stretch, and you scrunched your face up as you tried to relax.

“Are you okay? I can stop,” Ben was alarmed, he didn’t want to hurt you.

“Yeah, don’t stop,” You breathed. Ben could feel you getting tighter around him, as you had a hard time relaxing. You were a bit scared, and his size didn’t help. But the force did, and Ben used it to put your mind at peace. “Thank you,” You murmed, feeling yourself finally relax around him. Your resistance gave way and you gasped as Ben suddenly slid all the way in to the hilt. Both of you letting out a long sigh.

“Move-please,” You pleaded.

Ben grunted, eyes squeezing tight as he tried to get used to this feeling. What he was really trying was to not cum right then and there, he didn’t know how he was so sensitive. But then again he had never felt anything as good as this, it was all so new and overwhelming to him. A few tears escaped as feelings and pleasure took over Ben’s mind, which in a way forced him to move.

He was very slow at first, not exactly sure if what he was doing was okay until you let out a moan. He suddenly regretted not doing this earlier, no wonder people liked sex so much, it was like the best thing in the galaxy. Ben got faster, and with that lost a little control, his hips were sloppy in their movements but you didn’t care, not knowing anything different.

He made all sorts of noises as he made love to you, some high pitched wines, deep growls, and depraved moans along with everything in between. And you-you were a symphony to his ears, once he realized that you got louder the faster he moved, he picked up the pace. “Ahh princess, Y/N, you’re so-so good, so sweet, I love you kriff, love you so much,” Ben said.

“Love this cunt, love you, love these breasts,” He squeezed them in emphasis, face falling in your chest as his hands kept his weight from crushing you. He wanted to be as close as possible, and there was nothing better than pressing as much bare skin as possible against you. All of it, all of it felt so good...he could never go back to not having this. It felt so sacred, so intimate. He couldn’t believe that the old jedi survived abstaining from something like this. It was a spiritual experience in itself.

“I love you too-oh!” You said back, Ben adding more power into his thrusts as you said that. He had never felt...so alive, and hearing you say that, he was yours. Always, yours.

He started rutting against you frantically as he got close, which didn’t take long but still longer than the two of your expected. And you were a little behind, your second orgasm building but lagging a little. More focused on his pleasure Ben didn’t hold back his strength, hands and hips getting rough as he started to fuck you instead.

“Oh-hgnn, yes! Stars yes!” Ben moaned, very vocal and loud as he came, letting out a grunt as his cum gushed into you. Of course he didn’t forget about your orgasm, and as he pulled out of you his hands were back on your clit, rubbing the overstimulated nub into a quick orgasm. Your thighs tensed as you came, stretching out your arms and grabbing on to the sheets. Ben watched very closely, enthralled by the sight before him.

“Hmm,” He hummed as he collapsed against your side, nose pressing against your cheek as his hand laced into your hair. Lazily he wrapped his limbs around you, nuzzling you and giving you a soft kiss. You looked over to see that Ben had a big grin on his face, his eyes looked sleepy, but he seemed happier than you had ever seen him. His eyes expressed a great warmth, and love.

“You look so cute,” You grinned at him, poking his nose.

“Not as cute as you,” Ben poked you back, voice filled with giddiness.

You rolled your eyes at his cheezinness, snuggling closer to him and hugging him back.

“I think I just want to stay here forever, forget about my training, forget about Uncle Luke. I could learn how to farm like you, we’d settle down and have a few kids…” Ben sighed wistfully. “And everything would be perfect.

But it wasn’t.

Deep down Ben Solo was cracking, and though he would never show you, the pull to the dark haunted him in his dreams. He was so afraid, something was going to happen and he could feel it. Uncle Luke was looking at him in a strange was, his eyes held a newfound suspicion which only stoked the doubts in his own mind. In the back of his mind there was a voice screaming, that everything he knew was wrong. He tried to delay it with his visits to you, but that made it worse.

He was weak, and when it came down to it, he knew he wouldn’t be able to protect you. Not with all the meditations that Luke had taught him, he needed something...more powerful than that.

You ran when you saw the temple go up in flames, when you saw Ben point his lightsaber at his fellow Jedi students. You couldn’t watch, knowing what he was about to do, so you ran some more. It broke your heart that day, and gone were your dreams of an idyllic future. If he was going down this path, you needed to show him that he couldn’t have you.

You were rushing, your heart racing as tears streaked down your cheeks. You never wanted it to happen like this...your hands were shaking as you drizzled lighter fluid all over the little hut, preparing to watch promises for your future burn.

And then you ran again, this time you left the system.

When Ben came to collect you, to take you with him to some place safe, he couldn’t find you. In fact, it looked like you had packed everything up in a hurry...and your ship was gone. _She left me!_ His mind screamed betrayal, the second time in the same night. He clenched his fists at his side, maybe, maybe you were at the spot. He hoped, the other newly ordained knights behind him, Ben ~~_no that name didn’t seem right_~~ , stalked off to the place where he first made love.

What he saw made a sob bubble in his throat, one he had to choke down. It was up in flames, everything that he had built for you, no trace of you left behind. Ben growled, no, this was not how he wasn’t going to let it end.

He would hunt you down, to the ends of the galaxy if he had to. And once he found you, he’d make you _his_ , as you were meant to be.


End file.
